Cool for the Summer

OMFG it’s been too hot to go to the beach so I’ve given up on my bikini bod this summer and have spent the majority of my Friday nights watching disappointing blockbusters and eating spicy cheese popcorn from Mariano’s. Happier than a pig in shit, but not necessarily looking perfect in this season’s cutoffs. THEN I REMEMBERED that last year I published and toured a humorous DIET BOOK and that I’m some kind of “EXPERT” on keeping that MONEY MAKER MAKIN MONEY, and that I had better GET MY ASS IN GEAR so as not to be a LAUGHING STOCK / TOTAL JOKE / HACK.

Anyway now I’m completely obsessed with Trader Joe’s Riced Cauliflower, and I use it in/on EVERYTHING! I can convince myself that I’m eating rice dishes I love (like Indian or Thai food) that usually require a heaping pile of steamed white rice, but now I can do the same with my guilt-free cauli rice!! Oh it’s a dream. Go get some! And just remember to STAY ACCOUNTABLE, ACCOUNTANTS!

Dust off the book, laugh a little, and get back on the horse like your old friend Mando.